It's missing red

I don't know what's going on anymore. At morning I'm OK just like any other person. Living the life, watching TV, doing my homework, talking with my friends, etc. But as soon as night falls and I find my self alone and in the silence of everyone else's slumber my humor starts to degrade. My thoughts go to a darker place and I start to recall all my frustrations.  And I simply cannot deal with them. 

Last week I had a nightmare, apparently the fear it conveyed to me was so intense I suddenly awake, in the middle of a scream. If that sort of moaning you manage to make when you're half asleep counts as a scream... yeah I think it was intense enough to call it a scream... half asleep scream
I still remember that other time when similarly I awake from a dream crying and feeling miserable. 
For a couple of weeks I started to consider writing suicide notes as a hobby. However, I don't consider of concern this particular issue, but I admit it is a little weird. 

Right now, the time is 13:28 and I'm feeling... alright I guess.

The one and only thing that I could consider or identify  as bothering me in this moment is not knowing if anything will happen with him, but this "consternation" is fleeting. I'm conscious that I cling to that matter because it amuses me thou'...

The strange comes when I have to point out that I'm feeling anxious, very anxious. But I have no idea why...

On a side note, I'm willing to retake my twisted themed drawings. I think its a more honest way of drawing and right now I need to do that...
I still draw like this but only in my personal and "paper based" journal so they are not for the public eye (laugh at this please). Now, besides the supposed therapeutic purposes I think it will serve,  I'm planning to do more oh these to  disturb and delight my acquaintances by showing them these. 

Ha Ha